Sweet Baby J - written by a member of the US Army

Someone very important to me once told me an important story. While puttering in his barn on a rainy Sunday in the spring, a James Taylor song came across his speakers. The secret of life, as the song says is in enjoying the passing of time. Through our discussion, one that I will cherish forever, I realized that I didn’t truly possess the ability to grasp that concept. Time and the passing of it, had become and remains to be an inevitable and fluid thing. Time is something that nobody has ever been able to understand.

I have been out here (Iraq) for over 7 months now, and in two weeks I should have my feet somewhere on US soil, God willing. On July 21st I will reach my 4 year mark as a member of the US Army. By that time I will have spent 22 months deployed to Iraq, 2 months in Ranger School, over 6 months in the field, and less than 3 months at home. I work in a rush, to hurry up and knock out a task to hurry up and wait. I am guilty of waiting on my life to happen while time slips through my fingers. I still have infinite perspective on things to give thanks for, yet I have never had an outstanding relationship with time.

I have learned more since I left than I ever did while I was home. The things I learned while away gave meaning to my past. I have enjoyed passing time knowing that hardships already endured were not arbitrary occurrences in my life rather well calculated events given to me in preparation for something more rewarding. So I take it all now, or as much of it as I can swallow down, with a grain of holy salt and when it all seems like it’s just times way of beating down on me I don’t lose hope. Every struggle endured has a hidden message behind it. I know this to be true for me, it always has been. I will hurt and stumble, suffer and fail only to taste something sweeter on the backside- a direct reflection of a time where I was lacking, or the situation was uncomfortable. We can always learn in time, from ourselves from others, so long as we stay committed to doing exactly that. Passing time in the presence of others and enjoying things they know that you don’t is divinely purposeful.

I will enjoy this passing the best that I can, and if I can’t thrive here how I expect myself too then I will simply hang on. And time will continue and the lesson will be driven home, and when I can thrive it will become obvious again, that nothing is for nothing. We can all find purpose in the passing of time, through good times and especially through hard times but the trick is enjoying your life in the absence of an extreme- and not being bored.

I don’t know many people who capture the essence of their lives but in maybe thirty or forty key moments in their lifetimes. There are milestone events we each encounter goals we set and attack, or set and forget, there are things we accomplish and things we say we always wish we had done but never remedy. As we get older the milestones change from graduating high school, to getting married, to having a child, or buying a house. We never take time to enjoy the passing of our ordinary days. It’s hard to imagine each day we spend here on earth as a milestone, because some days are routine and rudimentary, static and planned. I guess those are the days I miss the most out here, the ones that seem so forgettable.

It’s easy to forget the day where you don’t remember anything happening. But it shouldn’t be too hard to remember that day as one spent with peace in your heart, with turmoil at bay. Life seems to happen to us when we are paying attention to something more glorious and elaborate. I have been away from America for so long now, away from the things I know exist that I feel like everything is new again. What is it that we do with our lives while we are waiting for that next big thing? Like the man told me, with tears in his eyes, he looked back at where he had come from to where he had arrived to now. He tightened a new blade down, on a saw that he had bought and enjoyed the passing of time. He looked to where he had come from and where he wanted to go, and somewhere in between found an infinite joy, he was happy to simply pass time.

I feel like I get it so confused sometimes, but I am learning that passing time is not the same as wasting it. There are so few endeavors in life that are useless and meaningless especially if they are arrived at with an open heart, and genuine intention. But why is it that we constantly feel like we are wasting time, yet when time is what we have we never have the presence of mind to enjoy it. I guess it boils down to identifying in ourselves what we want from our lives. I have and I don’t know where this road will lead but I am willing to walk down it. I have no time table and although it is painful at times and rugged in others, it is captivating not by the major events, but rather by the pleasure I am able to salvage from daily things. I don’t know what the secret of life is, nor may any of us ever know the answer to that question. But it is open to our own interpretations I suppose - the secret could be in the passing of time, or even in passing time trying to interpret just what that secret is.